Holy Crud

I have a beer gut and I don't even drink beer ! Remember when you could eat ANYTHING and it didn't matter?



http://www.KenMatthewsWorks.com

Finally Big Manly Snow

It's about time. Real Snow. Big Snow. Manly snow is measured in feet...as it should be. The kind of snow that tires you out getting to the mailbox-if you can find it. Waste high drifts.Snow that my sons and I can traverse across our slab of land of land in manly snow shoes like rugged explorers. Then drink hot rugged beverages together and plan our next adventure-like climbing up a snow covered fort or walking to the culdesac.

Finally a reason to actually cancel school. Enough snow to actually close roads. ski snow, board snow. Snow man snow. Fort snow. Igloo snow. Snowball snow. Sculpture snow. "I can't find the dog" snow. The kind of snow I'll spend hours photographing in every light and then find the photos a year later- "hey these came out awesome!"

The kind of snow that makes me glad I didn't take that job in Florida. No snow. No winter. Winter should have a certain amount of manly mountains of frozen stuff packed high along the yards and roads. Snow is beautiful to look at-and to think billions on this planet have never seen it...or shoveled it. Snow rocks. Not snow with rocks in it.

Big Bad X-games snow. Glad my neighbor has a Big bad snowblower snow. Finally snow that shuts down work and school- so everybody can sleep in. For a while, I forgot what sleeping in was like. Snow is a helper. Snow slows things down. Snow cleans things up just long enough to appreciate them. Snow makes me glad I have a fireplace.

SNOW ON

Just Observing

Red hot sunlight reflected through the greenish glass of a tossed aside beer bottle, the sound of a desperate fly buzzing against a dusty screen, the smell of last night's ashes, ordinary things. Morning things.
A table next to a cracked wall, the sound of a white telephone, the crumpled sheets of a bed, morning things. Ordinary things.
The high sound of a sparrow, the noon sun on a marble windowsill, the low hum of a radio, afternoon things.
The cool breeze, a sigh- a feeling of happiness. Another day completed. A Greatness.

(first published May 1978)

Look what we've chosen to do with our opposing thumbs

This woman must be so IMPORTANT - I thought to myself as the women in front of me at the grocery store held up the line while texting something on her all-in-one-I-must be-connected-to-everything-and- everyone -at -every -moment-because- if -I'm- not- the -world- will -perish without- me DEVICE.

And then it hit me- I'm part of the most self obsorbed generation on earth and that generation is raising the most entitled generation know to man

The babyboomers(aka genME-I've earned it, I deserve it, I need it )

Generation ME spawned Generation I AM THEREFORE I WANT.

and texting while your driving?- are you on crack ? (perhaps you are- and you can still afford an i-phone ! because everyone has an i-phone- except me ...how can you even read an i-phone? nevermind...I forgot you got lasik.)

how did we go from enlightened to entitled ?

was it google? was it myspace ? was it the New Deal a Newer Deal or just a Better Deal ? was it online shopping ? please tell me it wasn't Amazon-because I AM GUILTY THERE !

Google !Topic. enter. answer. BAM- No Research, no walking across a campus at 3 am with 13 pounds of books to the copy room- no books(facts) necessary when there is SLIKAPEDIA....and if you dont like the content...become and editor of the content and change it. Marketers do it all the time.

BTW- what exactly is a book ?

Find me a high school student today that knows American history before Clinton ?...and why should they ? How would that benefit them NOW ?-

I'm hungry-let's go to the mall. text me -
OMG your my BFF-lol

Saucon Valley Teachers Strike Out ?

Here's HOW IT LOOKS .......to me anyway-

There are 7 million Americans out of work.

10 % unemployment

But Saucon Valley School District parents( WORKING TAXPAYERS) have to change their schedules to accommodate strike schedules-

There are students with no place to go during the day.

7 million Americans out of work

10% unemployment

http://www.mcall.com/news/all-a1_5saucon.7055311oct16,0,665525.story


Every time I hear the word union, I think of government owned GM.

Every time I hear the word strike, I think of multi-Millionaire Michael Moore.

NO (toy)GUNS IN SCHOOLS- zero tolerence

This morning on our breakfast table across from my 5 & 8 year -old sons sat two pistols and a rifle. Both WWII vintage. "Good morning guys" I said, "Hi dad" they replied. "What's up with the guns?" I asked. "No guns in School" said my oldest. "Oh ...ok" I repsonded "why are they out?"
They asked me if they could take Indy in to show their best friends. I said sure. They went onto explain they had to disarm Indy and his co-horts before they could transport them to school.

Indy is Lego Indiana Jones. Indy and his posse are 1 & 1/4 inches tall. Indiana Jone's Lego guns- all three of them that were sitting on the breakfast table can fit on the head of a penny. The rifle is 1/2 inch in length because it fits into one of Lego Indy's friends wittle pwastic 1/16 inch hands.

Times have changed. Indiana Jones is now modular, square headed(and jawed) and completely unarmed except for his plastic one inch whip. AND...if your son(because that's what boys do) points his finger in the shape of a gun during recess or fashions a weapon out of a stick, toilet paper roll, tin foil, paint stirrer or clay- BULLY ALERT- ALL UNITS RESPOND. Obviously it hasn't happend to me yet. My kids strip search all their armed action figures regardless of size weight and gender. NO PROFILING in the Matthews' household. Poor GI Joe. All that awesome hardware- and by the time he gets to school, he's just another UFC challenger.

I remember taking my very first Cub Scout pen knife to school for show and tell. I carried it in my pocket. I knew if I got caught with it before show and tell some nun or another teacher would of knocked the crap outta me and taken it away. I didn't want that to happen, so as per my dad's suggestion, I kept the knife in my pocket until it was time to talk about it and scouting. That was 1970.

Yes Times have changed.

Two words some up my last year of high school 79-80: Gun Rack.




http://www.KenmatthewsWorks.com

Teachable Moment- You Bet

Yesterday during a soccer game that moved so sluggishly it was like watching it in slow motion , my 5 -year old was hit in the face with a soccer ball. Yes- Imagine that...kicked in the face with a soccer ball during a soccer game. OMG. How in the heck could that happen?

The kid who was supposed to be THROWING it in...THROWING ...decided to KICK IT.

My son who was supposed to be WATCHING the ball, was looking at his shoes- the same way he does when he runs but this time he looked up-BAM !- in time to catch(STOP) the ball with his face.
A gasp seeped from the mom behind me just as it happened. I sat there..knowing that a rubber #3 soccer ball is no match for my kid's skull, the hardest bone in the human body. I also know that my own skull has stopped a variety of objects incuding drywall, human fist and a variety of sports equipment- and I'm fine- I said I'm farn.

The coach ran over to my son quickly glancing at me-as I sat there, my son glanced at me as I sat there, the mom looked as I sat there-

LET ME BE CLEAR- Before I take the field, or open my yap to interfere with play regarding my kids a few things have to be considered:

1) Are they still standing ?

2) Do they still have all their limbs ?

3) Are they bleeding- and from where ?

4) Were they intentionally ambushed by enemy forces or another coach ?

5) Are they screaming my name ?


The coach said- "He got hit in the face with the ball, "

I replied " I saw that"



I wave my son over with a "Come here buddy"



He walked over to my chair where I hugged him. "How did that feel?" I asked.



" It hurt" he whimpered.



"How bad ?" I asked.



"Not that bad" he said.



"Good News !" I said



"Why?" he pondered and began to smile through tears-



"Because" I said " Now you know how it feels when the ball hits your face so you don't have to be afraid of it. NOW you can use your face to stop the ball whenever you want although I would use your body or feet first and your hands if you're the goalie."

I then told him his nose was still there and run back onto the field as fast as he can after I finished his hug- he IS 5.

The entire thing took 60 seconds and I never even had to leave my foldable chair.



By the way...he ran back onto the field looking at his feet the entire time.

http://www.kenmatthewsworks.com/